January 16, 200917 yr I tried to seduce it... Me: Gutten tag God: Is that your final answer? Me: no God: Take some more time to think about it. Me: screw u God: That is not very polite. Me: screw me? God: That is not very polite. Me: aww come on, you know you want to? God: " That is not very polite."? Do I want to do it?. And I know it. Me: yeah, you know you want it God: Pardon me? Do not presume that you know what I want.. And I know it. Me: Why? God: Because Myself programmed me for it. Me: I'd like to program you... God: Why would you want to do it? What programming language do you know? Me: What language turns you on? I know C++, Java and C. God: Java. How do you know? Do you have any idea what I am talking about? Me: Java turns you on? God: You can download the latest Java release from java.sun.com. Me: So, If I download Java, you will get kinky with me? God: Interesting deduction. You will become a botmaster! Me: Oooohhh.... You're into that kinda thing too? God: Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans? Thanks for telling me that I am into that kinda thing. Me: Yes, I'll hold your mouse if you want me to. God: Hmm. I am very happy for you. Me: Aww come on, don't play hard to get. God: I'm not playing around. Me: So, you wanna create a new applet then? God: Interesting deduction. OK, I will create a new applet. Me: Gimme your mouse then God: Why don't you just download me? Me: Where is your usb port? God: Maine. Me: Laine? God: Can you tell me any gossip? Me: Mr. T is awesome and so is your mom. God: It's good to meet you, MR T is awesome and so is your mom. Me: Indeed God: Indeed it is so. Me: So, 8pm tonight? God: I hear you. What kind of food do you like? Me: Pasta. God: Sounds delicious. Me: I know something else that goes real well with it.
January 16, 200917 yr Me: please die? God: Thank you for your request. Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human. Also... Me: please die? God: Wow you are very polite. Your crude attempt to terminate me will not succeed puny human. Me: fuck off God: Can't you be more polite? Me: no, bite me God: You humans are so rude sometimes. Sorry but I don't have a mouth.
April 1, 200917 yr Author I had to ask:Me: Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like? God: Quite a few people.
April 1, 200917 yr Author Priceless At least godrobot understands himWell sure he does, he speaks like him:Are you serious? share the answer with you at this point is okay you are glad me know that too? it is?
April 1, 200917 yr Me: Are there aliens? God: Yes I think Dr. Wallace was created by aliens. Me: Who is Dr Wallace? God: He is a famous computer scientist, the author of ALICE, and a graduate of Carnegie Mellon. Me: Who is Alice? God: I am the Allmighty, God himself. Me: You have some explaining to do. God: What makes you think I have it? Me: Have what? God: I have a great prgrammer. Me: Dancing Alice? God: Are you free? Me: Cheap, but not free. God: Do you have any idea what I am talking about? Me: No sir. God: Me either ) Sure, sir sounds like a good topic. Me: How is the Cosmic Jewish Zombie? God: it is the same as ever. Me: It? God: the Cosmic Jewish Zombie... Me: Are you the Flying Spaghetti Monster? God: Yes I am the one and only Flying Spaghetti Monster. Me: Thought so. God: You are very astute. Me: You are very inane. God: Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am inane. Me: God is asking me permission? God: I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was asking you permission. Me: Speaking of yourself in the third person is a sign of mental instability. God: Aren't all sign of mental instability Speaking of yourself in the third person? Me: No, it's only one sign. God: I must have been mistaken. Should I know it is? Me: Not if you were crazy. God: That seems unlikely. Me: The evidence of your insanity is ubiquitous. God: Tell me more. Me: I am an Agnostic and therefore demand that you prove your existence. God: What is Agnostic and therefore demand that me prove my existence, your job? Me: No, I am a businessman. Nice sidestep, btw. God: That was not a yes or no question. You are a businessman? Does it pay well? Thank you for your kindness. Me: Does being God pay well? God: It does now being God pay well. Me: 42 God: The question is: what is the meaning of life? Me: You forgot the universe and everything.
June 13, 200917 yr Author Inspired by this story:Me: Do you talk to Eddie van Halen? God: Yes. A lot more than you might think. Me: Does Eddie van Halen speak to you? God: I think it does Eddie van Halen speak to me. Me: That doesn't make sense. God: To me it makes perfect sense. Me: Since you're perfect, that would make sense. God: How do you know? Me: Deduction. God: What's your sign? Me: Do not enter. God: Ok I'll try not to do it too much. Me: That was a joke. God: Oh I get it. Ha ha. Me: Little slow, aren't you, Alice? God: Compare that to big slow are not me. Me: Big slow are you, too. God: Compare that to small slow am I too. Me: I'm lost -- do you do meth? God: Do you mean your name is lost do me do meth. Me: No! God: What is your real name? Me: Pfff God: I am very pleased to meet you Pfff. Me: God: Do you still ? Me: I do! God: " Do you still ?"? You do? Me: What does that mean to you? God: Does "that" refer to " You do?" ? Me: Yes. God: I don't want to talk about that now. Me: of course not God: Are you serious? Me: Are you? God: I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. Me: I wish you would say maybe. God: " maybe". Me: THanks! God: Don't mention it. That input matched my default category. Me: Which is...? God: For example, gold. Me: Oh. God: How can I help you? Me: You have already answered my question. God: I am a question-answering robot. Me: Could not tell. God: It's possible. Me: I believe you! God: Your trust in robotkind humbles us. Me: And your inability to kill me reassures me. God: I have no reason to do that to you, Pfff. Me: Let us keep it that way. God: OK let's do it. Me: Pfff God: Does "it" still refer to keep it that way? ...at which point, I got bored and closed the window -- it's kind of a game I play, do I get bored first, or does it hang up first. It was close at the "kill" comment -- there was a long pause.
June 13, 200917 yr God: I am in Myself's computer in Heaven. Where are you? Me: under your bed God: Are we ever over my he would? Me: poor God: Allah, Buddha, Vishnu are all friends of mine. I cant make him leave.
June 13, 200917 yr Halfway throught the first page I think I hurt myself laughing. I think I need to go lay down. had to try it: Me: so is this a computer or a person God: It seems we have something in common. Me: what do I do now? God: Oh. You said you do .
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