The Monkey

Nate, how's the battery life?

Love Longform.

I think this project is pretty cool. Masters From Their Day | Home

Just what I need...another obsessive hobby.

Beautiful! Welcome back, Erik.

Hang in there, Brent.

Just made some simple syrup

That gives me a good feeling inside.

Happy Birthday, ian.

And at Goldman.

A good friend of mine is an NYPD Detective and a pretty smart guy. He once told me, thank god criminals are so stupid, otherwise we'd never catch them.

bastard. EDIT: By the way, nice score, nebby. Details please.

A little of both. But the Porsche sure sounds like a good idea. The mistress likely would get me killed faster than the Porsche. Voiceovers, maybe. I was thinking porn.

I forgot to get a damn pomegranate, but you're right. What's the best thing in which to store simple syrup? I haven't had it straight yet, but for you, Al, anything.

I'm getting drunk and pondering a career change.

Couldn't find any grenadine at Whole Foods.

Duly noted; I will almost certainly set his yeti ass on fire.

I love it. I especially love the "hold on, hold on" after the fuckin A. Reminds me of so many meetings I've attended.

Really, though, isn't the lesson "When in doubt, use a flamethrower"?

Other than that, my strategy was flawless!

cockroaches are far worse than bees. I despise roaches. In fact, just typing those last two sentences makes me feel like a roach is on me right now. I also have a healthy respect for bees. Or perhaps a renewed fear is a better way to put it. On the way home last night, my son informed my wife and me that he doesn't want to get married because then he'll get "stinged" (pronounced olde english style: sting-ED) by a bee. I told him he was absolutely right.

Definitely next time. Flame Thrower FTMFW.

My parents' place has what can only be(e) described as a bee infestation. You know how folks were saying that all the bees had disappeared. Well, they're at my parents' place in East Hampton having a grand old time. The odd thing--at least to this city slicker--is that the fuckers are living in holes in the lawn(!). Is that normal? The first two holes I blasted with hornet/wasp deadly poison, then put a shovel full of dirt over the hole "entrances." They didn't seem to like that much, but the deadly poison seemed to keep them in check, and the activity around those holes ceased. The next day I found another beewaspnesthole in the damn lawn. This one seemed even more active. But I was out of bee deadly poison, so I decided to flood their hole (while giggling of course). I would have used gasoline but I was afraid. Anyway, after what I thought was sufficient flooding, I then did the old close up the hole trick. Perhaps they had a meeting the night before because they were ready this time and one of them got me good. I later noticed that the small spade/shovel I was using was hollow, I think (certainly not HC-certified). My theory is that a ninja bee sneaked up that damn shovel and injected me with poison right down into my thumb bone. I jumped up and down, howling in pain, shrieking obscenities in front of 4 children. I slammed down the stupid out of spec shovel, whined to my wife, and put ice on my thumb. Then I had a beer and watched roughly 300,000 bees claim the shovel as their own. I won a battle. And I definitely lost the war.

I got stung by a gotdam bee. That shit still hurts.