Long story, but kind of a fun one. On my way to a Santa gig this evening, I ran out of gas. Knew that I was on fumes but thought I could make it. Thought wrong. Plus I was running right on time without a minute to spare, so I had no choice but to leave the SUV where it was, kind of half on the shoulder and half on the road. Not an obstruction to traffic in any way, but certainly not where a vehicle should be parked. But I had precious little time, and a bad back (been to the chiropractor twice this week and am healing gradually, but still sore) so there was no way I could put it in neutral and move it myself. Instead, I popped the back latch, grabbed my big toy bag and bells, etc., and hitched a ride to my event. First car was Cayman Airway flight attendant (they all know me by sight) so she stopped and then laughed the whole way to the event. Got there right on the minute. On the way, I called the West Bay police and explained where I had left the SUV, that I was on my way to do a Santa event, and would be back in 3 hours. Ok, she said, not a problem, so long as there are no complaints. One hour into the event, I had someone call back the police station to confirm everything was still Ok. No problem. Another hour later, another call, still no problem. Got a ride from the photographers back home after the event, and quickly changed to street clothes, grabbed a gas can out of the shed, and was putting my key in my other car when my cell phone rang. West Bay police officer so and so, reading my licence plate and asking if this was my vehicle, then informing me that he gave me a ticket. Tried to explain the situation, to no avail. Arrived at my SUV 6 minutes after the ticket was written. $100. Put in a gallon of gas drove it to the gas station to fill it up, and then to the police station. Same officer is in the building, so he comes out to see me, all gruffy and official, telling me the rules. I said, "No problem, sir, but now you're on Santa's naughty list!" Said it in a friendly, obviously joking manner. Told him he was going to get a lump of coal. He's not amused. Asks me, "Is that all sir?" I said, "Nope. That's not everything. Please inform Sergent Williams when you see him next that there has been a price change for event that Santa has scheduled for a week from Sunday. It was to be free, but will now cost $100." He looked at me somewhat quizzically, so I said, "Every year, I do this event for your department for the benefit of poor children in the community. It's held during prime hours that I can easily reschedule for a minimum of $300. I schedule it as a freebie every year anyway, and in fact call in October to reserve whatever time Sergent Williams prefers. Have been doing it for years and years for free. This year it will be $100 cash, paid a minimum of 24 hours in advance. That, sir, is all." I then turned and walked away. Didn't even give him a chance to respond. Tomorrow morning, it will be interesting to see how long it takes Williams to call me. Don't fuck with Santa or you'll get some dork wearing a cotton ball beard and naugahyde boot covers. It should be interesting.