Wmcmanus

Nine events today. Friggin' crazy. Just one quick story, then off to bed. Lady at the pre-school this morning, one of the mom's and also a worker there (her husband was the photographer, same event that I've done for 5 years now, see them just this once per year)... she couldn't get over my new toy bags this year (the ones that replaced last year's that got stolen by the fucking brat neighborhood kids when I left my car unlocked one night). 3 separate times in front of these 3 and 4 year olds she innocently said, "Santa, you have such a nice big sack!" After the third time when she walked out of the room to fetch yet another small batch of kids to bring in, I told the husband (just him and me in the room), "I'm a little worried about your wife's fascination with my "big sack!" I had him dying of laughter. He said, "You know, I was thinking the same thing! It sounds like she's talking about your nut sack!!!" He said he was going to give her a hard time about it, and tell her that we had our little chat to embarrass her. She came back in the room with about 8 more kids and we got back to work. About 5 minutes into it, "Santa, you've got such a nice..." and before she could finish, he and I both burst into laughter. He couldn't hold his Nikon still for a couple of minutes. She said, "What's wrong? What did I do?" He said, "Don't worry... I'll tell you later." They're from Ireland, so she should know. Sack is a very European descriptor, me thinks? No?

I'm in between Santa gigs right now. Three down for today, four more to go. Yesterday, today, tomorrow and Sunday will be 28 events in total. Crazy busy, but having tons of fun. The event I just came from is a charitable deal for an adult learning center (meaning essentially a day care facility for adults with moderate to extreme mental and physical disabilities). This was only my second year doing this event, so I had forgotten that it was co-sponsored by the West Bay police department! The facility is actually less than a mile from my house so it's an easy event for me to do. What a blast! They're like a bunch of big kids, a very happy group. But the main reason for this post is to say that they all are definitely aware of the situation, right up to the chief, apparently. The minute I got there, one of the officers put his hand over his badge number and said, "I don't want to get in trouble with you!" They were all laughing about it, and saying that I should charge my full price for the event next Sunday. I still haven't heard anything official, but it seems that they don't think I'm bluffing so will either be dusting away the ticket or paying me $100 before the event. They said that chances are, they'll just "pass the hat" to collect the money from all of the officers, and number 418 (the offending officer) will be expected to chip in a double share! I just checked through my Santa journals from past years, and next Sunday will actually mark the 11th consecutive year that I've done this event for them and I've never charged them a nickel. Throughout the years I've been involved with several other things that they do for the community in the summer months as well, especially a fishing tournament that they host that I did all of the bookkeeping for in the late 90s and up until Hurricance Ivan in 2004. So a lot of them know me, and have been to my house many times for false alarms on my burglary system as well.

Long story, but kind of a fun one. On my way to a Santa gig this evening, I ran out of gas. Knew that I was on fumes but thought I could make it. Thought wrong. Plus I was running right on time without a minute to spare, so I had no choice but to leave the SUV where it was, kind of half on the shoulder and half on the road. Not an obstruction to traffic in any way, but certainly not where a vehicle should be parked. But I had precious little time, and a bad back (been to the chiropractor twice this week and am healing gradually, but still sore) so there was no way I could put it in neutral and move it myself. Instead, I popped the back latch, grabbed my big toy bag and bells, etc., and hitched a ride to my event. First car was Cayman Airway flight attendant (they all know me by sight) so she stopped and then laughed the whole way to the event. Got there right on the minute. On the way, I called the West Bay police and explained where I had left the SUV, that I was on my way to do a Santa event, and would be back in 3 hours. Ok, she said, not a problem, so long as there are no complaints. One hour into the event, I had someone call back the police station to confirm everything was still Ok. No problem. Another hour later, another call, still no problem. Got a ride from the photographers back home after the event, and quickly changed to street clothes, grabbed a gas can out of the shed, and was putting my key in my other car when my cell phone rang. West Bay police officer so and so, reading my licence plate and asking if this was my vehicle, then informing me that he gave me a ticket. Tried to explain the situation, to no avail. Arrived at my SUV 6 minutes after the ticket was written. $100. Put in a gallon of gas drove it to the gas station to fill it up, and then to the police station. Same officer is in the building, so he comes out to see me, all gruffy and official, telling me the rules. I said, "No problem, sir, but now you're on Santa's naughty list!" Said it in a friendly, obviously joking manner. Told him he was going to get a lump of coal. He's not amused. Asks me, "Is that all sir?" I said, "Nope. That's not everything. Please inform Sergent Williams when you see him next that there has been a price change for event that Santa has scheduled for a week from Sunday. It was to be free, but will now cost $100." He looked at me somewhat quizzically, so I said, "Every year, I do this event for your department for the benefit of poor children in the community. It's held during prime hours that I can easily reschedule for a minimum of $300. I schedule it as a freebie every year anyway, and in fact call in October to reserve whatever time Sergent Williams prefers. Have been doing it for years and years for free. This year it will be $100 cash, paid a minimum of 24 hours in advance. That, sir, is all." I then turned and walked away. Didn't even give him a chance to respond. Tomorrow morning, it will be interesting to see how long it takes Williams to call me. Don't fuck with Santa or you'll get some dork wearing a cotton ball beard and naugahyde boot covers. It should be interesting.

No apologies necessary! Thanks for sharing. Amazing. I watched the entire video without shifting positions on the couch. Such body control.

Have a good one, Tom. It's been too long since I've made it up your way... maybe one of these days for a regional meet.

Another fan here. Extremely accessible and so talented at keeping things simple and letting the music shine through in the performance. He understood that it wasn't all about him, but in the moods that his music could help to create in the listener's heart and mind. Will have to break out some vinyl tonight in his honor.

Here's a little clip from an event that I did last weekend.

Fuckity fuck fuckers, at that.

Most of it was a bit dull for my tastes (elevator music), but I really liked the second half of Note Two when they finally revved up the engine and picked up the pace of the music. That gave me a real sense of movement and passion, which is what cars like that are all about.

We don't like you being unhappy. Glad things are heading in the right direction. Nice cast...

Happy birthday, Gene! Have a great day.

Just for the record, are you Justin or are you Frank?

A battle I fight with myself far too often.

Have always loved Big Trouble, but I couldn't trouble to get all the way through this one.

I just wanted to say what a great aunt you are, not just for getting her such a nice gift but also for going the extra mile to make sure that what you get for her will be just right.

You have a full moon inserted in your ankle. Must be painful.

Even if people use the Bcc to forward emails you've sent to them, they often don't delete your email address from the body of the message.

Don't worry, your cargo is safe with me. http://biertijd.com/mediaplayer/?itemid=34305

Turkey testicle festival in Northern Illinois. They live so close to the Cheeseheads that these people start acting like them! Justvisitusturkeytesticlefestival.mov

Not to mention her formerly perfect wine-glass-shaped-and-sized breasts shown ever so nicely in the side view silhouettes, because that might be sexist. But seriously, a perfect fit. Wouldn't be any empty space anywhere nor would there be any spillover effect.

I fucking hope so! Kellogg's is still a pretty strong performer.

You're not supposed to actually comment about your PopTarts experiences in this thread. You're just supposed to wait until others do and then make fun of them.

In his uniform pockets during training!