Craig Sawyers

What did/do you play?

The comments under the vid are gold: “Throw it in the garbage – 0 seconds”; “This sounds like someone is narrating my unsuccessful foreplay”; “I'm buying this for somebody I hate” And many more.

Belated happy birthday!

Why does that remind me of Team America?

Two comedy plays in Stratford (on Avon) yesterday. We live 60 miles away so it is an easy drive. First one was As You Like It by Shakespeare https://www.rsc.org.uk/as-you-like-it/. The Royal Shakespeare Company produce superb plays, and this was one of those. They keep them totally fresh, and very easy to understand, not at all high-brow. That was in the afternoon. Second one, in the evening, was a late Restoration Comedy called The Provoked Wife, by Vanbrugh, again superb. https://www.rsc.org.uk/the-provoked-wife/ Bit of background. Oliver Cromwell was one of the key people behind the Civil War in England in the mid 1600's. Once his troops had seized power, he had the king Charles I beheaded. Being hard puritans, they put in place reforms that included defacing the inside of churches and cathedrals, painting the insides white (covering up medieval wall paintings) and chipping the faces from statues of saints etc. They also banned public entertainment (and closed all the theatres), shut many pubs, sport and even swearing (anyone playing sport was flogged, swearing was a fine). Britain became a cheerless place. When Cromwell died, Charles II (who had been living in exile in Holland) was restored to the throne, and reversed all of Cromwell's bans - which was exceedingly popular! Theatres was all reopened, and playwrights all went to town with the Restoration Comedies - all of them bawdy and hilarious. One of the late Restoration playwrights was John Vanbrugh. As astonishingly versatile guy, he was not only a well known playwright, he was also an architect - designing Castle Howard https://www.castlehoward.co.uk/ and Blenheim Palace https://www.blenheimpalace.com/ . PS Charles II escaped after a 650 mile flight with a reward of £1000 on his head, and pursued by Cromwell's troops. He was so pissed when he was restored to the throne, he had those who had signed the death warrant for his father Charles I arrested, and had them hanged, drawn and quartered in The Mall in London. He also had Cromwell's body dug up and posthumously hanged in public.

I think you just got unlucky. We've had 7 cats over the years, and although we have had vets bills as a result of injuries from fighting other cats, we have not had any eye infections. But I can see that getting drops into a cat's eyes is a pretty fraught exercise!

Live video feed from the ISS https://eol.jsc.nasa.gov/ESRS/HDEV/

I wish I had more "likes" to give for that find, Knucks. Hilarous!

There were teachers at my school I could well believe got up to that sort of shenanigans

RIP Murray Gell-Mann, the guy who won the (unshared) Nobel Prize for particle physics symmetry and the Quark. A genius from an early age, he won a place at Yale at the age of 15 and graduated at 19. A full Professor at 29.

Not at all Jose. For what it is worth I was one of the 48% who voted to stay in the EU, as did the rest of my family. My daughter was in tears when the vote went to leave, and emigrated to Australia. And the daughter of very old friends (a lawyer) retrained in French law and went to live and work in Paris. It is the younger generation who feel particularly betrayed by Brexit.

Well, I've been saying that will not happen on a number of occasions. But the idea is gaining some traction. I think the thing is that three years ago, there was a simple binary choice - IN or OUT, with a simple majority gaining the day. All that people were were going on, in making the judgement, was based on lies of one sort or another. Now that the population knows what the full scale of horror actually is, the idea that the whole issue is more of an informed choice. Regarding lies, Boris Johnson is now being sued for misconduct in public office for his Brexit battlebus slogan saying that we spent £350m a week on the EU and "Let's fund our NHS now!". In fact that does not take count of the rebate or other economic elements such as trade, jobs and investment, so our real terms contribution is about half what Johnson falsely claimed. And then he suggested that money would go into the NHS, which was clearly misleading. And anyway, a fair chunk goes into our contribution to the European Space Agency, CERN, ITER and a number of large scientific research projects. I sincerely hope that noone in the Brexit punch up suggests we pull out of those.

This almost counts for inclusion in Trump Rants, but it relates to the increasingly stupid political situation in the UK. May resigned because she could not get a majority to vote for her withdrawal deal from the EU. So far 11 candidates have put their name forward to take her job, and probably a few more before voting starts. They are all banging on about renegotiating the Brexit deal - and the EU are saying absolutely no way is that going to happen. The other major party - Labour - are likewise tearing themselves to shreds, and are led by a 1970's style political throwback Jeremy Corbyn. Apart from the anti-semitism row. And yesterday they expelled Alastair Campbell (he was Tony Blair's political advisor and media chief - a real rottweiler) from the Labour Party for voting Liberal Democrat in the European elections. Here is a sobering statistic. In 1950 there were 2.8 million members of the Conservative Party, and 1 million in the Labour Party (and millions more in "Block Trades Union" votes). Such is the demise of public engagement with politics there are now more members of the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds (RSBP) than there are of all political parties added together. It is an unholy mess, candidly.

That ridiculous video clip missed out the fact that Steven Fry actually hit Hugh Laurie with the bat. This includes the end.

The 6th & Final Affair Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly: 'I have something I must confess.' 'There's no need to, 'his wife replied. 'No,' he insisted, 'I want to die in peace.. I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!' 'I know,' she replied. 'Now just rest and let the poison work.'

The 5th Affair A man walked into a cafe, Went to the bar and ordered a beer. 'Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent.' 'One Cent?' the man exclaimed... He glanced at the menu and asked: 'How much for a nice juicy steak And a bottle of wine?' 'A nickel,' the barman replied. 'A nickel?' exclaimed the man. 'Where's the guy who owns this place?' The bartender replied: 'Upstairs, with my wife.' The man asked: 'What's he doing upstairs With your wife?' The bartender replied: 'The same thing I'm doing To his business down here.'

The 4th Affair A woman was in bed with her lover When she heard her husband Opening the front door. 'Hurry,' she said, 'stand in the corner.' She rubbed baby oil all over him, Then dusted him with talcum powder. 'Don't move until I tell you,' She said. 'Pretend you're a statue.' 'What's this?' the husband inquired As he entered the room.. 'Oh it's a statue,' she replied. 'The Smiths bought one and I liked it So I got one for us, too.' No more was said, Not even when they went to bed. Around 2 AM the husband got up, Went to the kitchen and returned With a sandwich and a beer. 'Here,' he said to the statue, 'have this. I stood like that for two days at the Smiths And nobody offered me a damned thing..'

The 3rd Affair A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr. Schwartz, About to be cremated, And made a startling discovery. Schwartz had the largest private part He had ever seen! 'I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz,' the mortician Commented, 'I can't allow you to be cremated With such an impressive private part. It must be saved for posterity.' So, he removed it, Stuffed it into his briefcase, And took it home. 'I have something to show You won't believe,' he said to his wife, Opening his briefcase. 'My God!' the wife exclaimed, 'Schwartz is dead!'

The 2nd Affair A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters But always talked about having a son. They decided to try one last time For the son they always wanted. The wife got pregnant And delivered a healthy baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery To see his new son. He was horrified at the ugliest child He had ever seen. He told his wife: 'There's no way I can Be the father of this baby. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around behind my back?' The wife smiled sweetly and replied: 'No, not this time!'

This thread has been moribund for too long. The 1st Affair A married man is having an affair With his secretary. One day they went to her place And made love all afternoon. Exhausted, they fell asleep And woke up at 8 PM. The man hurriedly dressed And told his lover to take his shoes Outside and rub them in the grass and dirt. He put on his shoes and drove home. 'Where have you been?' his wife demanded. 'I can't lie to you,' he replied, 'I'm having an affair with my secretary.. We had sex all afternoon.' She looked down at his shoes and said: 'You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!'

Meanwhile, back in the UK

You're tapping a rich vein of speaker porn Knucks!

Each power amp weighs 220lbs, and the centre preamp 155lbs. Lighweight it is not.

Designed by a guy called Steve Sells. I hired Steve straight from University back in around 1990 when I was running Engineering at Wharfedale. We were planning to re-launch Leak, and I said to Steve "Design the best power amplifier you know how. Exotic components, silver wiring, multilayer boards - no problem". He designed a stunning piece of work. When I took it to the Audio show in London, and wired it to the speakers, a sound like a quiet tinny radio came out. Turned out the shorting straps were still on the back of the speakers - and Steve's amp was playing the cables into a short circuit. The sound came from the force between the cables. Took off the shorting straps and pow! Awesome. Fast forwarding several decades, and Naim likewise let him off the leash. And Statement was the result.