So. 5am.

And the people in the flat next door are playing music loud enough for me to host a disco of my own. I live a street of old houses, by my guess the wall is 1ft thick at the thin section, 2ft over the rest. Sandstone most likely.

Anyway. 5am is beyond reasonable acceptable party noise hours. Whats the best way to kill these fuckers and get away with it? I've got sleep to be getting so I can be well rested for a day of procrastination tomo.

I suggest quietly piping carbon monoxide in there, they'll look pretty fucking stupid being carted off looking all pink and shit. Find an old gas heater and some garden hose, lay back and wait for the sirens

get jena labs to recable their house!

get jena labs to recable their house!

LOL! Good one.

Hah!

get jena labs to recable their house!

Nice, but you are forgetting Doug's second requirement(boldfaced the section by me):

Whats the best way to kill these fuckers and get away with it?

he can get away with it by declaring it a train wreck and sweeping it under the rug

I suggest quietly piping carbon monoxide in there, they'll look pretty fucking stupid being carted off looking all pink and shit. Find an old gas heater and some garden hose, lay back and wait for the sirens

much better is a few grams of mercury in their front and back yards, and on

the front steps. Takes a few months...

Mercury kills? I thought it just drove one mad.

Hey, KG, why don't you "accidentally" send them the uranium? No, there's the fallout...never mind..

much better is a few grams of mercury in their front and back yards, and on

the front steps. Takes a few months...

St. Andrews isn't known for its heavy industries that much localised mercury would seem a bit odd. Uranium is more common (naturally occuring in rocks) in the north of Scotland (Aberdeen) but as that's locked in the rocks and immobile it's not practical either (no radon emmision).

The most obvious deterrent is the threat of students living next door, but as duggeh is there already his neighbours appear to be diehards

The sound may be radiating through their windows rather than the walls, maybe check that and if that's a point, ask them to shut the windows when they party late.

Why didn't you just call the police? In the US at least there are noise ordinances that would have kicked in long before 5am.

noise ordinances that would have kicked in long before 5am.

good suggestion

Here's the local link Duggeh

http://www.fifedirect.org.uk/atoz/index.cfm?fuseaction=service.display&objectid=855CB7FD-F564-4B4E-966623207712B916

If that 1-2-3 punch fails,

then use the failsafe: Kill them softly

You're suppsoed to try to resolve noise complaints with the neighbours in question before involving the police. Thing is that I am hardly likely to go down and round in my PJs to ask them to turn it down. 1) I'd get cold 2)they wouldn't pay me the slightest heed and 3)They'd probably crank it up more often and louder to deal with "that moany fuck next door".

I think that I'll stick with what I did, which is put on an audiobook and fall alseep listening to that.

I usually resolve any noise disputes with this baby:

Nothing that a little brute force can't fix.

Tragically 30 watts into 88dB and no sub doesn't give me the power to trample my neighbours underfoot with volume. I think my housemates would have been less than pleased with any audio drag racing too, although one of them can go choke of a bowl of dicks, I do give a rats ass about the others.

although one of them can go choke of a bowl of dicks

HAHA Duggeh you're brilliant

you never cease to amaze me with your lines

The amazing typo. It should be on. F and N aren't even next to each other.

hmm i seemed to read it as choke on which is just as if not funnier

If that 1-2-3 punch fails, then use the failsafe: Kill them softly