Went to the Apple Store where I bought the phone (5th Ave in NYC). Made a Genius Bar appointment. Told the Genius that I had soaked my phone in the pool. Genius informed me that Apple normally charges $199, but has a new initiative whereby it essentially gives iDevice owners a one-time "get out of jail free" repair. Ergo, free iPhone 4 replacement. I'm sure it's a refurb (no box or anything), but free works for me. I guess I'm Steve Jobs's bitch now.
With customer service like this, there's really no way I'm buying anything computer/mobile related from any other company until Apple gives me good reason not to, like maybe making iPhone cases out of puppy skins. Maybe.