I think I've got the final bend completed:
1) sharp inward hooks on the bend right above the housings to hook the driver under my ear
2) stretch the overall headband flat so I get a wider, gentler arc to accommodate my wide head (this is the new part, previously I'd been trying to tighten the arc)
3) aim the creases in the pads right around where my glasses frames sit on my head
Viola, it appears I have the perfect fit. Getting this headphones adjusted right was quite frustrating. At times it reminded me of learing to setup a vinyl rig, and though it certainly wasn't as neurosis-inducing as that, the payoff is similarly satisfying. Comfy but snug fit, lovely complex bass, beautiful midrange, precise and non fatiguing highs.