Yeah, me too. I have to admit that when you (Shelly) were so careful to use the word 'partner' all the time, I allowed for the possibility of you being gay. I've had others say the same thing of me -- a girl thought I was gay because (a) I never showed any interest in her, ( I showed more interest in her boyfriend, © I always showed up alone, and (d) my choice of words. I don't remember using 'partner' all the time, I'm not sure what word or words I did use, but I also (e) didn't care what she thought, and that's probably what she sensed the most, she just misinterpreted it.
Yeah, I don't know what a good word is, though I can see some people having issue with husband if he isn't, same as if you were straight. I've heard, 'boyfriend', but I can't help but be brought to mind of a movie (I forget which, but it was something like that Jack Nicholson/Helen Hunt one, with the cross-generational relationship. At one point, the older main character says to a secondary older character, something about a boyfriend. She says, "at our age, we don't have boyfriends or girlfriends, we have lovers". So...'lover', maybe? I don't know what kind of person you are, it may not be 'you', but it certainly works, and is sex-neutral...er...that is, it's gender-neutral, although probably a bit too TMI in terms of sexual activity.
I think more straight people should use 'partner', that would eventually leave to no problem. Then there's the whole "PASLQ" (pronounced poss-el-cue) idea ('person of the appropriate sex sharing same living quarters')...but the problem stems from the fact that if you are evasive at all about the gender of your partner, it sounds like you're being evasive. There's no getting around that. So I don't have a solution. And now I'm babbling.