Went to Crossroads Guitar Shop, got talked into buying a Vox Mini5 -- it'll be great. I like the size, I can put it right in front of me in place of a laptop.
Went to post office -- picked up above discussed guitar. (Uh...yeah, did I mention it was another guitar? Cheap one, at least.)
Tuning it now, works like a champ! I didn't get scammed, hurray!