So I'm in the middle of a mundane sheetrocking job, and as such you tend to have some fun conversations. Today one of the subjects that popped up was misheard lyrics. One of my employees told me that he thought the line in Kenny Rodgers "Lucille" was "with four hundred children, and a crop in the fields". Where the line is actually "with four hungry children, and a crop in the fields".

This got us laughing, and I admitted that when I was in high school I had thought that Neil Diamond's "Forever in Blue Jeans" was "Reverend Blue Jeans". I was actually disappointed to find out otherwise.

So I thought it would be fun to find out what misheard lyrics my Head-Case buddies may have to share.

Well whether or not you like the music, Pantera has some of the funniest interpretations around.

Look on youtube for "Fucking Hoffstyle"

edit: you do need to equip your childish humour suit heh

Back when my oldest son was around 4, he misheard the lyrics to Live "I Alone" as "I will lawn dare you". He used to sit in his carseat singing this...

Eagles "Life in the Fast lane" I thought it was life in the "Vaseline"...somehow your a winner either way!

Eagles "Life in the Fast lane" I thought it was life in the "Vaseline"...somehow your a winner either way!

Cream - "In a White Room"

I thought it was "In a white room, with black horses..."

Oh, and a girlfriend in HS:

B-52's - "Roam" - My then-GF loved this song (I despised it--still do). We're driving somewhere in my mom's borrowed convertible (white Mustang, but NOT the 5.0, 0-60 in 7 minutes). "Roam" comes on the radio, and before I can change the stupid station, ex-GF starts singing, "Roll Ipsy Wanna." That's when I knew it was over.

And, No, she wasn't retarded.

I was at my Aunt and Uncles a few years ago, and when CSI came on the TV they started singing "Ooh Ollie, Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh".

Now he was in Viet Nam. So I started laughing, and there all "what?" I said it's "Who Are You, Who who, who who". I was laughing hysterically, and I still give them shit about it. They did say that now it makes a lot more sense as the intro to CSI. Well no shit!

I was at my Aunt and Uncles a few years ago, and when CSI came on the TV they started singing "Ooh Ollie, Ooh Ooh Ooh Ooh".

Now he was in Viet Nam. So I started laughing, and there all "what?" I said it's "Who Are You, Who who, who who". I was laughing hysterically, and I still give them shit about it. They did say that now it makes a lot more sense as the intro to CSI. Well no shit!

The Little Monkey is looking at me like I'm crazy because I'm howling with laughter right now. I thought it was almost the exact same thing, but slightly worse: "Ooh ahh, ooh-ooh ooh-ooh." My wife thinks I'm a moron for many reasons, that misheard (and oft-missung) lyric among them.

Monty this seems strange to me,

Those movies had that movie thing,

But nonsense has a welcome ring,

And heroes don't come easy.

Now nonsense isn't new to me,

I know my head I know my feet,

But mischief knocked me in the knees,

So just, let, go.

Just let go.

I saw the ocean meet the man.

I saw you buried in the sand.

A friend was there to hold your hand,

So walk on by.

So I went walkin' through the street,

I saw you strung up in a tree,

A woman out there said to me:

So hold, your, tongue.

Hold, your, tongue.

You don't owe me anything.

You don't want this sympathy. #waste your breath#

Don't you waste your breath. #waste your breath#

Aboard the silver train.

That nonsense doesn't mean a thing,

They tried to bust you in a sting,

But virtue isn't everything,

So, don't, waste, time.

Now here's a rhyme for you to steal,

You put this on your anal reel,

Mischief threw a rotton deal,

Monty's layin' low.

He is layin' low.

Just let go.

Just let go.

You don't owe me anything...

Spot the deliberate mistake. I seriously thought that those were the words for years before I had the d'oh moment.

The Archive of Misheard Lyrics - KissThisGuy.com

Because:

Artist: Jimi Hendrix

Song: Purple Haze

Real Lyric: 'Scuse me while I kiss the sky

Misheard Lyric: 'Scuse me while I kiss this guy

User: Anonymous

Genre: Rock

Frequently Asked Questions for KissThisGuy.com

Q: How did this whole thing come about?

A: The archive started as a spontaneous idea originating out of the Birdhouse Arts Collective in September, 1995. The concept was inspired by the mother of a close friend of the founder, who confessed to us that, as a young girl, she had thought that the old church song "A little walk with Jesus" was called "A little chocolate Jesus." In fact, she never realized her error until she was almost 45 years old. The collection of misheard lyrics was later moved to the web. In late 2006, the site became too large for just a couple of people and was acquired by HumorBox Entertainment. The founder and HumorBox Entertainment have begun rolling out major changes to site – too many to name here. Stay tuned and stop by daily to participate and enjoy with friends and family.

Q: Is there a technical name for these mishearances?

A: Well, not a technical name as in psychology terminology, but there is an anecdotal name -- they're called mondegreens, and it's all explained at Mondegreens Ripped My Flesh.

They even have one of the old time classics

Search term: my ears are alight

Total Found: 1 (1 displayed).

Artist: Desmond Dekker & The Aces

Song: (Poor Me) Israelites

Real Lyric: Get up in the morning

Slaving for bread Sir

So that every mouth can be fed

Poor, poor me, Israelites

Wife and kids dem pack up and leave me

Darling she said I was yours to receive

Poor, poor me, Israelites

Misheard Lyric: Get up in the morning, baked beans for breakfast So that everyone can be fed Oh, oh, my ears are alight

User: Anonymous

Genre: Reggae

Anal reel?

[MrBurns] Yes. That's the one. [/MrBurns]

Anal reel?

[MrBurns] Yes. That's the one. [/MrBurns]

That's no fair Fitz! You're vast knowledge of sex toys gives you a distinct advantage. Most of us would just never know there is no real anal reel.

The Little Monkey is looking at me like I'm crazy because I'm howling with laughter right now. I thought it was almost the exact same thing, but slightly worse: "Ooh ahh, ooh-ooh ooh-ooh." My wife thinks I'm a moron for many reasons, that misheard (and oft-missung) lyric among them.

My Aunt and Uncle will be happy to hear there are others like them.

Cream - "In a White Room"

I thought it was "In a white room, with black horses..."

Wait it's not? Woah...

I was always wondering wtf those horses were doing in there.

My understanding is that the reason it's a White room with Black curtains, is because it's an interrogation room. Not sure if that's true.

But there are Silver horses in the song, if that makes you feel better.

...

But there are Silver horses in the song, if that makes you feel better.

,and green alligators, and longneck geese, .... Oh wait. Nevermind

And for in depth analysis

White Room | Reason to Rock

How do you get "horses" from "curtains"?!?!?

I didn't realize there was a definitive answer to the "kiss the sky"/"kiss this guy" question.

How do you get "horses" from "curtains"?!?!?

By not being very bright.

How do you get "horses" from "curtains"?!?!?

I didn't realize there was a definitive answer to the "kiss the sky"/"kiss this guy" question.

OK smarty pants, I bet you've got a duzy that you're not sharing with us.

No, not really. I'm shameless, so if something really good comes up, I'll share. But my memory isn't what it used to be and I am easily distracted.

I'm sure there's some Jeff Lynne or some Ozzy that I misheard. Or Michael McDonald. Those guys really slurred a lot.

Ozzy Osbourne Songs

Ozzy Osbourne: I know that pizza goes with broccoli...