Yesterday I and my father visited my aunt at hospital. We haven't been seeing each other as families for more than 10 years. And before that it was like bumping each others on weddings, funerals etc and seeing each other wasn't pleasent. My mother and she has deep problems since I was born; long story...
Anyway, she had been diagnosed with gastric cancer as it turns out 2 years ago and she just wanted to say her goodbyes. She was in extremely bad shape, my father couldn't even look at her. Reasons for not seeing them is/was rightful but still I feel deep sadness. Shaken since, sleeping for almost 16 hours didn't help as well.
Made me think on things I'm angry with my parents, their desicions on my life which pushed me into the life I don't want to live since I started to school. Things I can't forgive them.
I didn't think seeing her evoke so much shit. I'd rather avoid it if I knew.
We didn't tell my mother about that visit cuz even my aunt is in deathbed we don't know how she is going to react. I feel really bad about it as well.