Why stop with teachers? Why not arm the kids themselves? Arm the mall workers. Arm the popcorn salespeople at movie theaters. Arm fucking everyone! It worked so great for nuclear weapons we should just have Mutual Assured Destruction in all aspects of our lives. If everybody is armed, then nobody will fuck with anybody, right?
And Catscratch, gun control IS the answer. There is no excuse or reason for anyone to own assault weapons. Except Naaman or Jeff, because they need to kill people sometimes.
*Edited to respond to the right person.