I've thought a lot, today. My wife is genderqueer (she is very open so I don't feel uncomfortable mentioning that) and much more plugged in to things than I am, me at the grand ol' age of 37. She told me the other day that she considers me to be part of the queer community. Some of my friends here, I don't really remember which beyond Shell and Steve, have known for years that I have been, and am, sexually attracted to men. Not every man. Some men. I think I've mentioned it on occasion. I've never acted on it, for a lot of reasons. I'm generally more attracted to women, and I just think that I wasn't part of the right generation to act on a bisexual tendency in a casual way. I don't know if my time has passed, or what. I know that Colie would support me exploring that aspect of my personality, but honestly I don't really feel that strong of an urge. I'm very happily married, and, even when accepted, I would consider that to be cheating, and I'm not real big on infidelity. It's still there, though. I think it has informed other parts of my life, parts that I have acted on in non-sexual ways.
I'm not sure I feel comfortable claiming that I'm part of the queer community. I "pass." That's not even the right word. How can you "pass" when nobody even thinks that you aren't whatever you are "passing" for? I'm certainly a fellow traveler, but that's not the same thing.
I really don't care what I'm called or considered. I don't really consider this a coming out. It would be a shitty one, if it were. I also know that this is in a public forum, so don't worry that I've put this in the wrong place. I just kinda feel like I should do something, just for myself. Talking openly feels like doing something for myself.