(1) That's rough.
(1.5) Sweet.
(2) So does that fall under bestiality, masturbation, or BDSM?
(3) Did you beat it, or did it beat you?
(4) "...and then I went to play pin the tail on the donkey..."
(5) Have you not?
EDIT:
(6) Zen question: do you reacharound?
(7) That's an interesting way to celebrate Cinco de Mayo.
(8 ) Before, or after?
(9) Missionary, doggy style, or other?
Yes, I know, I'm putting way too much thought into this.