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McSweeney's Internet Tendency: I Am Locking the Wikipedia Article On Our Sex Life.

I AM LOCKING THE WIKIPEDIA ARTICLE

ON OUR SEX LIFE.

BY ALAN TROTTER

- - - -

Dear Josie,

After repeated instances of vandalism and abuse, I have taken the step of locking the Wikipedia article on our sex life. Although I have previously banned both your user account and your home IP address, malicious edits have continued, both anonymously and from newly registered users "alanequalswanker" and "ooohImabigimportantadmin."

I know that's you, Josie.

Neutral point of view is a fundamental principle of Wikipedia, and no one with a neutral perspective could claim that, over the six months during which we were engaged in a sexual relationship, my performance was "lackluster," "uninspired," or "noob-ish" (or, indeed, "noobian"). Nor could the physical intimacy we shared

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Not just in Britain. The 1960s "Joy Of Cooking" that my wife got from her mom has a bunch of squirrel recipes. And you philistines don't even wear tweed while shooting the little blighters.

What's best is eating a squirrel after it just ate one of its own brethren, it's like a two for one deal.

And yeah, I can definitely imagine some of our redneck population shooting and eating lots of squirrel.

Edit: I admit that I have tried rabbit and it isn't bad.

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I don't know where to put this, so I figured I'd try posting it here. I'm sure its not news to some of you.

I did some research into where the 'Claus' part fit into Saint Nicholas to make Santa Claus and was a little befuddled by this 500 year old Dutch tradition of Sinterklaas's (Santa Claus) being followed by his helping hand Zwarte Piet (Black Pete) who seems to obviously be a racial depiction, though surely there is something to be said about us using elves. Black Pete comes down the chimney and legend has it that he puts bad children in rucksacks with roaches and carries them to Spain where they become servants and possibly Black Petes themselves if I'm not mistaken.

zwarte piet - Google Images

I know, I'm American and I'm going through culture shock. Its a 500 year old tradition that is older then my country that hails back to when the Dutch were heavily involved in transporting slaves. Seeing the dolls and the figures on their chocolate bars and window ornaments was unbelievable. I read a story from a 14 year old boy living in the Netherlands for the past two and a half who is black and was not happy when a few Dutch people called him Black Pete and kids ask their parents to go talk to him. Around Christmas he has been asked to participate in the school plays because he "wouldn't have to dress up". He wrote a petition to not have Black Pete in the school play and got over 200 signatures before his teacher supposedly took it away for "ruining other's fun". Its a sensitive subject to be sure.

Now you know where to go to see parades of people in black face and lots of red lipstick wearing woolly wigs at Christmas. Sorry if I seem a little thin skinned here, it reminds me of Sambo's restaurants signs and racist comics that seem to dehumanize other races which I can be sensitive to when its a nationwide scenario.

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