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Lesbian high-school teen expelled and charged for same-sex relationship


Jon L

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the last paragraph of that article is fucked up

The second to last paragraph is fucked up.  Regarding the last paragraph, there are many states that have different ages of consent, a lower one with the parent's/parents' permission.  For example, back in the 90's, the age of consent in both Virginia and Maryland was 18, but 16 with the parent's permission.

 

As to why she would do that, it was probably some sort of societal retaliation in her mind.  "If I get in trouble for it, so should everyone else."

 

Depending how different their ages were, she should have just remained celibate during the intervening days/weeks/months/...

 

Yeah yeah, I know, easier said than done, especially at 18.

 

NP:  "I Saw Her Standing There"

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Here I was thinking that everyone was okay with girl-on-girl action. Unless y'know- they're not as adorable as seen on adult television.

 

A classmate of mine almost got rape charges on him when he was 18 and was dating a 15 y.o. girl. Both of their parents somehow settled the matter. Lucky for me all of my girlfriends have been older than me.

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I thought most states followed the 3 year rule, in which even an 18 year old could not be charged with a sexual crime unless the other party were more than 3 years younger. I guess I'm mistaken on that.

 

It sounds as though the younger girls parents most likely felt that their daughter was "indoctrinated" into the lesbian lifestyle by the older girl, and therefore waited to get the strongest revenge. 

 

I will say that I do not think a 17 y.o should be having sexual relations with a 12 y.o., regardless of sexual preference.

 

As to age of consent...Alaska is still 16, but there are stipulations to that. No teachers, authority figures and so on. Hawaii and Idaho are 14, which I personally find a bit concerning.

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Messed up, maybe.  Maybe messed up in terms of a parent reporting the relationship the minute she turned 18, although there are probably many, many examples of the same situation occurring with young heterosexual couples involved where a parent notifies the authorities in the exact same way, the minute one of them turns 18.  

But putting the parental involvement aside, what is so wrong in society's concern over a sexual relationship involving one person who is of legal age and another person who is a minor?  Society has always been concerned about these types of situations.  There are statutory rape laws in every one of the 50 states.  

But now, suddenly, it is a bad thing for society to be concerned about a person who is of legal age having a sexual relationship with a person who is a minor, and a 14 year old at that?  Why?  Because lesbians should be exempt from the same laws that non-lesbians are subjected to?  

If the 18 year old in question were a young man, and not a young woman, he would likely be tried as an adult for statutory rape, but because it's a lesbian couple, suddenly there is no issue for society to deal with?  This should be of no concern to anyone, and why?  Because lesbians are a special protected class?  Because a lesbian cannot possibly inflict physical or emotional harm on a minor through a sexual relationship?  

Again, what might be fucked up in this particular situation is the parental involvement.  But ask yourself, does it suddenly become a crime the minute a boy turns 18 and thus in the eyes of the law, becomes a man, and is now carrying out illegal acts with a minor (his girlfriend) who has not yet reached the age of consent?  Yup.  That's a crime.  Always has been, and always will be.  It might not always be "fair" and if the age of the minor is close to the age of the adult, then it might not get prosecuted.  But by law in all 50 states, it is at least a violation of the law that would be subject to prosecutorial discretion.

None of you who have replied to this thread can see the double standard?  Suppose I'll be attacked ad hominem as being homophobic because I don't think there should be a different laws or different standards in the application of the law, merely because of sexual orientation.  Have at me.  Is the idea to have equal rights for gays and lesbians, but not equal responsibilities?  Interesting.

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None of you who have replied to this thread can see the double standard?  Suppose I'll be attacked ad hominem as being homophobic because I don't think there should be a different laws or different standards in the application of the law, merely because of sexual orientation.  Have at me.  Is the idea to have equal rights for gays and lesbians, but not equal responsibilities?  Interesting.

 

You assuming a bit here, Wayne? "Regardless of sexual preference" above mean something else? ;) I suspect many people here have problems with age applications and sexual predator laws. If these laws originated because of power inequalities, there's definitely a healthy dose of problems including sexism (purity, etc.) historically involved. Two women may question a small bit of that, but otherwise I suspect most here just think the situation is messed up and the lesbian angle just a bit more timely with other events happening. Let's take a vote - anyone happy about this?

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I will say that I do not think a 17 y.o should be having sexual relations with a 12 y.o., regardless of sexual preference.

 

 

Wayne i did mention this in a minor way. I do take your point, and I think that a four year age spread in situations involving one or two minors is cause for concern. 

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Let's take a vote - anyone happy about this?

 

Maybe I am assuming a bit.  Sorry if that's the case.  

Maybe what I missed completely is the offense taken by everyone (and myself as well, if this is the view that I missed) that your view was that the law was applied discriminately against her because she was a lesbian; thus, by extension, in your view if the same situation related to an 18 year old male, the school would have been cool with it.  That seems a bit strained in my view.  But if that was your take on it (or anyone else's), then I can see why it would make you upset.  

Discrimination in any form, for or against any particular race, gender, religion, or sexual orientation, is a bad thing, although I do think it's generally a good thing that the law does make efforts (often insufficient) to protect certain classes of individuals that have historically been discriminated against.

 

As for the situation you've linked to, yes that is patent unfairness in the application of the law.  Completely abusive.

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Wayne i did mention this in a minor way. I do take your point, and I think that a four year age spread in situations involving one or two minors is cause for concern. 

 

I did miss that, Steve.  Just read through the thread quickly and was struck by what seemed to be a universal rejection of what the school did in this case. Again, the parental involvement seems pretty devious, in that they knew all along and timed their public disclosure of the matter in such a way.  Very unkind and sad parenting, not to be willing to accept your daughter for who she is, much less make her relationship a public and "political" matter.  That part is truly disgusting and reeks of hate and prejudice.  Shame on the mother who reported this.

It's funny, because one of the best guys in my home town, who is the barber there that I have been going to for 35 years (whenever I'm in town) got married at the age of 18 when his wife, a native American Indian who was one of 14 children, was only 13.  He's in his early 60s now and always says, "Thank God the laws weren't the way they are now, back then!  Margie is the best thing that ever happened to me..." and then she'll argue the opposite, that he's the best.  They're still a "cute" couple in terms of how the interact with each other and love their kids and grandkids.  He's the best of the best in terms of his character and family values.  She says that her parents thought he was a great guy and were just happy to have one less mouth to feed. 

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Wayne, your assumption was that the girl-girl nature made it alright, and that I or anyone else in the thread would think that a boy-girl relationship between an 18yo and a 14yo would be wrong.  I don't want 14 year olds having sex at all, frankly, but that is besides the point.  If two high school students and basketball teammates have a consenting sexual relationship then I don't think that sexual predator laws or sexual battery laws are applicable, especially when that relationship commenced before the older one crossed the magical date line where they become a legal adult.  I would feel that way whether it was same sex or not.  There are inevitable line-drawing issues and lots of other quagmires in trying to say when it is alright and when it isn't, but here I just find it disgusting to think that this girl could go to jail for 15 years and have her entire life ruined based on having a sexual relationship with her classmate.

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I will say that I was brought up in an era (the 70's) where sexual freedom was a little more...freer...er...that sex was done with a bit more freedom than it is now.  Case in point the relationship between Penny Lane and Russell Hammond in Almost Famous.  People just weren't as up-in-arms about the more borderline cases of pedophilia as they are now.  I mean think about it -- before the industrial revolution, when people used to only live 'til 30, they'd get married at 13 or 14, and it wouldn't be creepy at all.  Even though I'm alright with that concept for that period intellectually, it still creeps me out emotionally to think about it too much.  It's a culture clash thing, where I was raised in an entirely different era, and probably can't judge theirs, not understanding it completely.

 

So as to your analogy, yeah, I'd be just as miffed about the parents if the one that turned 18 was a dude.  Sorry, but I think a precedent of approval of the relationship has been set by the parents not saying anything during the weeks/months(/years?) leading up to the kid's birthday.  At the very least, the kid shouldn't be tried or punished as an adult.  Most 18-year-olds that I've know weren't that much more mature than their underage counterparts.  And parents should be more involved with their kids anyway.  Unless their abusers, then they should be less involved.

 

That said, I know a lot of us think of Tatu when we think of underage lesbians, so probably shouldn't be allowed to comment on the subject, not being of entirely sound mind and body, thinking with less blood flow to the brain.

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Wayne, your assumption was that the girl-girl nature made it alright, and that I or anyone else in the thread would think that a boy-girl relationship between an 18yo and a 14yo would be wrong.  I don't want 14 year olds having sex at all, frankly, but that is besides the point.  If two high school students and basketball teammates have a consenting sexual relationship then I don't think that sexual predator laws or sexual battery laws are applicable, especially when that relationship commenced before the older one crossed the magical date line where they become a legal adult.  I would feel that way whether it was same sex or not.  There are inevitable line-drawing issues and lots of other quagmires in trying to say when it is alright and when it isn't, but here I just find it disgusting to think that this girl could go to jail for 15 years and have her entire life ruined based on having a sexual relationship with her classmate.

 

Very well said Al. Mirrors my thoughts to a T.

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Wayne, your assumption was that the girl-girl nature made it alright, and that I or anyone else in the thread would think that a boy-girl relationship between an 18yo and a 14yo would be wrong.  I don't want 14 year olds having sex at all, frankly, but that is besides the point.  If two high school students and basketball teammates have a consenting sexual relationship then I don't think that sexual predator laws or sexual battery laws are applicable, especially when that relationship commenced before the older one crossed the magical date line where they become a legal adult.  I would feel that way whether it was same sex or not.  There are inevitable line-drawing issues and lots of other quagmires in trying to say when it is alright and when it isn't, but here I just find it disgusting to think that this girl could go to jail for 15 years and have her entire life ruined based on having a sexual relationship with her classmate.

 

Well put, and I agree with what you've said.  Perhaps I did jump to conclusions, and my apologies to you and anyone else who may have been offended.  

Nice post, as well, Grahame.  I also agree that the Romeo and Juliet laws that are now beginning to come into play are a step in the right direction in helping to delineate the line-drawing issues that Al mentioned.  Never an easy task for any jury, much like the whole date rape thing is difficult to adjudicate even when both parties are legal adults.

Edited by Wmcmanus
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