May 7, 201313 yr Better to take out frustration on trash can lids, pot lids, and yourself, than to cross that particular line with someone else. You're a good man to show such patience with her, and if it helps, try to remember all your ups and downs before you found the right balance of medication. Maybe it's just that, and think of all the bonus points you will receive if you get her to that point. Oh, and a belated 'yeezh' on the break.
May 7, 201313 yr Yeah, I'm going to backpedal -- I don't think any of us are qualified to tell you what to do in this situation. If it helps to know that we're here for you, know that we're here for you.
May 7, 201313 yr So sorry to hear Jacob! Only advice I can give: get her a new doctor. She's admitted she needs help, take it there. And keep loving her.....
May 7, 201313 yr Nate (not to distract from Jacob's troubles): We've been talking on and off for about a year about getting a new vehicle but keep putting it off because we own two cars that are entirely paid off and are dirt cheap to insure. It needs to be 7+ passenger and the only vehicle I "want" really is a LR4 but I think that we'll end up getting something with better mileage. I was just looking at used certiifed minivans and it's hard to argue with saving $30 grand.
May 7, 201313 yr Jacob, I've got nothing to really offer other than whatever support typing provides. Hang in there, life is a roller coaster, and not always an enjoyable ride. It sounds like Emily needs help and that's kind of what you signed up for when you married her. If she's willing to accept help at this point then all you can do is try. If she gets to the point where she's no longer willing to accept help then it's time to reassess situation. Chris, maybe the LR4 is different but most "7 seat" SUVs are pretty damn uncomfortable for the rear passengers not to mentional that it kills 90% of the cargo space to get 7 in and then there's that whole getting in process to deal with. If a people hauler is what you need buy a Honda Odyssey and use the remaining 30K to buy something fun. I do not subscribe to the rule of 2 cars especially if one choice is made purely on function. You really do need something better equipped to tow the boat, right?
May 7, 201313 yr Jacob, I think you can deal with this as long as you think it's worth it. Maybe she just needs a better doc and fine tuning her meds. Best wishes mate, I know quite well how hard it's living with unstable people. It isn't easy, probably a matter of patience, intelligence, and lots of love. I'm sure you have a good deal of all those
May 7, 201313 yr Jacob, I've got nothing to really offer other than whatever support typing provides. Hang in there, life is a roller coaster, and not always an enjoyable ride. It sounds like Emily needs help and that's kind of what you signed up for when you married her. If she's willing to accept help at this point then all you can do is try. If she gets to the point where she's no longer willing to accept help then it's time to reassess situation. Same advice here, Jacob. I know it's difficult right now but hang in there and continue to support Emily. And also remember that doctors work for you, if you're not satisfied with their care you can fire them and look for a better one.
May 7, 201313 yr Nate. Living in old town Alexandria means that we have parking for 2 vehicles and that's it so an extra fun vehicle is out. We're lucky we even have that. The lost cargo space was less of an issue it'd only be for emergencies and kids not regular use. I just remembered the mini-minivan Mazda 5 that is looking like a solid option that if we decide we need to go bigger we can afford to do so in the future.
May 7, 201313 yr I would think someone as tall as you would not be comfortable driving the LR4. I know the oversized steering wheel that won't go high enough makes them uncomfortable for me when I have them as rentals.
May 7, 201313 yr Good to know Jeff! I'd sat in it at the autoshows and thought it was ok but I was probably basking in the "oohs and ahh" moment. We could afford it but I think we'll end up with something cheap that we can pay off fast. Soon enough we'll have two kids in daycare.
May 7, 201313 yr The honda pilot is actually pretty comfortable in all 8 seats. The tradeoff between it and the Odyssey was the reduction in cargo volume when all seats were occupied. Luckily, we usually only have 6 in the car, so 2/3 of hte rear seat stays folded down.We mostly now drive 5 passenger vehicles, and only take the pilot when everyone is travelling (generally just on sundays). I no longer believe in the "drive a huge vehicle all the time because once in a while you need it" thing, because it's so inefficient. If I needed the bigger vehicle less than once a month, I'd probably just rent a van the few times I needed it, and otherwise stick with the smaller cars exclusively.
May 7, 201313 yr Really sorry, Jacob. Hope the new doc helps more. I'd suggest that you accompany Emily to the visit or at least make sure the new doc is aware of all the stuff that she does at home. It is pretty common that people can hold it together and look pretty normal for the short time they are seeing the doctor. (Not saying that this is happening here, but only that I've seen it a lot!) Good luck ... this really sounds awful to live with!!!
May 7, 201313 yr That happens a lot. It's very easy as the doc to see a young, attractive working person who tells you they're fine, you take them at their word; great, refill their meds and move on to the next. So easy. Easier than digging up the dirt, then having a mess on your hands that now needs to be dealt with. But we are paid good money to undig the dirt and deal with it. Sometimes someone needs to be there to help dig up the dirt. I've had seemingly high functioning, perfectly fine people whose spouse finally showed up at a visit and calmly explained all the stuff that's been going on at home. A surprise to me, I was told everything was great at home. Next thing I know, the two are screaming and fighting at my office. And that calm, 'I'm doing fine' patient is suddenly a basket case. Not that I enjoy people screaming at each other in my office, I really dislike it, but it's very valuable information that helps me treat the patient. Information that I otherwise didn't have. And that will help me get the patient better in the long run. Again, good luck! I'd expect a not very fun visit tomorrow. But hopefully it'll be worth it in the long run ... like others said, at least it's a good sign that she eventually came back and acknowledged the need for help.
May 7, 201313 yr Damn ... blocked by the VA firewall. It must be good! Edit: Weird, but the first time viewing that, 'space robot' looked like a hypertext link to eBay. But on my iPad, and now on the VA computer, it does not. Edited May 7, 201313 yr by jvlgato
May 7, 201313 yr It's not just a giant space robot, it's a magical giant space robot. Sent frum mah phone-blet using Tapatalk.
May 7, 201313 yr Damn ... blocked by the VA firewall. It must be good! Edit: Weird, but the first time viewing that, 'space robot' looked like a hypertext link to eBay. But on my iPad, and now on the VA computer, it does not. It was probably the monetization tool that todd is testing out. it tries to add links to text it thinks is contextually correct, though fails most of the time. It was probably blocked because it uses a url redirector. Edited May 7, 201313 yr by Nebby
May 7, 201313 yr Oh shit, now I understand the monetization thing. I had seen a link to a Robbie the Robot on eBay in Jacob's post about a giant space robot and didn't understand it.
May 7, 201313 yr Why is it that auto dealers are all disingenuous sacks of shit? They tell me that the MSRP is x and the final price is y but don't explain that their price now doesn't include the $795 destination charge. At least I walked away to think about it and had time to learn this little tidbit. We're going to get a Mazda 5 in the light blue because my wife likes it. I can't say I'm thrilled but it does make a lot of sense for us and is dirt cheap for a vehicle with its capabilities. About to head to the nearest Carmax and get their offer on the trade in. Edited May 7, 201313 yr by Dreadhead
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