Jump to content

Vicki...The only Queen at CanJam?


swt61

Recommended Posts

It could have been in the Casino, but the purpose was to reach as many as possible, in hopes that it may help at least one member dealing with the same issue.

I'd also like to clarify that I've been out to friends and family since my very early twenties, and I'm very comfortable with who I am. Unfortunately I'm not always comfortable with who others think I should be.

This group has never made me feel uncomfortable in any way, and after meeting so many of you face to face I think it's a good way to build on the great friendships I've already developed with you.

Immediately after coming out to my Mother, I think I pushed pretty hard and made her uncomfortable at times. I told her pretty much every detail of my life. The thing is my family is pretty close knit. My Brothers and my Sister were able to discuss their marriages and personal issues with my Mom. I've always been very close to her and sometimes felt very left out in that regard. The last person I wanted to have an esoteric relationship with was my Mother. Later she told me how much she appreciated my honesty and openness with her, even though it did make her uncomfortable at times. I can tell my Mother absolutely anything today, and enjoy a very real and strong bond with her.

I may push those boundaries from time to time, but I'll try to keep that at a minimum. I have some very real friends in many of you and I don't want those friendships to be surface only. I hope that makes sense.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Can I ask you a really difficult question, Steve? Why didn't you come out at CanJam? Did you want to, but didn't, or was the plan all along not to, and you didn't feel comfortable until you had a chance to digest the events, or whut?

EDIT: And, "I don't know" is a perfectly legitimate answer.

Edited by Dusty Chalk
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sometimes it's good to push ones boundaries or to push the boundaries of others. Amongst true friends I have found that is how you change and learn for the better.

The first time anyone ever came out to me, and my first real interaction with someone who was gay, I was a sophomore in high school, on a choir retreat with my chamber singers group. There were two senior guys I was sharing a room with, they were amazing musicians and I looked up to them as role models and they were just great guys to sing with. We were getting ready for bed and having some deep conversations, but then they came out to me and told me they were gay. I was very silent and ended up leaving the room to hang out with others in the common area as I became very uncomfortable. I started thinking and realized what truly happened, that these guys trusted me with something very special. And that I should appreciate it, as well as understand the sexual orientation did not change my view of them as awesome role models and guys to hang out and sing with. I went back into the room and apologized, and they said they understood, they were hesitant to tell me at first because the normal group of friends I hung out with were the type that wouldn't be so open and affirming, but felt like they could trust me, and I am glad they did, as I am truly a better person because of it.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Can I ask you a really difficult question, Steve? Why didn't you come out at CanJam? Did you want to, but didn't, or was the plan all along not to, and you didn't feel comfortable until you had a chance to digest the events, or whut?

Sometimes we as people can flavor our opinions of others with preconceived ideas, without realizing that we're doing so. I'll be the first to admit that many times my first impressions of people are 180 degrees off. I'm not the kind of gay person that is immediately obvious to others (or at least I don't see myself that way), so I wanted to have people get to know me and judge me as a person from the interactions we had, without the possibility of that subconscious flavoring. That's because I want people to understand that gay men come in all shapes and sizes and personalities. Just like penises :)

Also Ryan and I had talked about when might be best time to do so, and he graciously accommodated me in that regard.

Not to mention that I did not want to derail an event that was about something else. I'm not as much of a 'look at me' person as I pretend to be. If I'm wrong about that feel free to educate me. :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sometimes it's good to push ones boundaries or to push the boundaries of others. Amongst true friends I have found that is how you change and learn for the better.

The first time anyone ever came out to me, and my first real interaction with someone who was gay, I was a sophomore in high school, on a choir retreat with my chamber singers group. There were two senior guys I was sharing a room with, they were amazing musicians and I looked up to them as role models and they were just great guys to sing with. We were getting ready for bed and having some deep conversations, but then they came out to me and told me they were gay. I was very silent and ended up leaving the room to hang out with others in the common area as I became very uncomfortable. I started thinking and realized what truly happened, that these guys trusted me with something very special. And that I should appreciate it, as well as understand the sexual orientation did not change my view of them as awesome role models and guys to hang out and sing with. I went back into the room and apologized, and they said they understood, they were hesitant to tell me at first because the normal group of friends I hung out with were the type that wouldn't be so open and affirming, but felt like they could trust me, and I am glad they did, as I am truly a better person because of it.

I love that story Ryan, especially your honesty.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Sometimes we as people can flavor our opinions of others with preconceived ideas, without realizing that we're doing so. I'll be the first to admit that many times my first impressions of people are 180 degrees off. I'm not the kind of gay person that is immediately obvious to others (or at least I don't see myself that way), so I wanted to have people get to know me and judge me as a person from the interactions we had, without the possibility of that subconscious flavoring. That's because I want people to understand that gay men come in all shapes and sizes and personalities. Just like penises :)

Also Ryan and I had talked about when might be best time to do so, and he graciously accommodated me in that regard.

Not to mention that I did not want to derail an event that was about something else. I'm not as much of a 'look at me' person as I pretend to be. If I'm wrong about that feel free to educate me. :)

For the sake of clarity, it's probably best for people to just refer to me as Fitz in this thread. :P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

For the sake of clarity, it's probably best for people to just refer to me as Fitz in this thread. :P

Uhm yeah, Ryan as in Fitz.

Fitz is a close friend (and especially now) and I like to call my good friends by there given name, as I feel that's more personal, but I should just say Fitz for clarity sake.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

i think that you should provide us with some of the seafood you were talking about at that shitty restaurant we went to for lunch.

That was the one the concierge recommended as having "really good food and beer". He must moonlight as a Stereophile reviewer.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

So...why are you announcing it? Forewarned is forearmed, and all that. Are you that evil (and cocky confident), that you feel you can announce it, and still not be rendered useless by some sort of magical defense?

Here's the thing: idiocy and slack...er...whatever the "state" form of 'slacker' is -- they are both contributing to the general decline of the human population, I.E. evil-ness, of the natural variety. They don't even have to organize, because of the second law of thermodynamics -- the very nature of idiocy and slackness (hey!) contributes to the total entropy of the socio-ecosystem.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.