Vicki...The only Queen at CanJam?

[robm321]

This thread is nothing but win.

[HeadphoneAddict]

I'm glad that everyone here can accept you as you are, and make you feel comfortable in your journey through life.

I know it's a real load off your backs to come out to people that you care about who didn't know personal and private things about you, and how important it is to have supportive friends and family. My brother had a very hard time before he came out in college, and prior to that had resorted to violence, alcohol and drugs to sooth himself instead. After he came out he still hated who he was and would have been dead before 30 if he hadn't found a great guy to love him. He's been with his partner for about 20 years now, who turned him around and set him on the right path that wasn't hell-bent on self-destruction. My brother's partner was the best thing that ever happened to him. My cousin in San Francisco seems to have had an easier time coming out, and she and her long-term partner have a wonderful adopted child whom they are raising together.

I have always been 100% hetero and into girls only, but when I was in high school in the late 70's my best friend Byron was gay (he called himself "queer as a 3-dollar bill"). We'd go underage drinking at the gay bars where he would hook me up with girls that he called "fag hags", or girls that hung around the gay bars looking for a one night stand and no commitment. I always hated that term, but it seemed that even they were okay with being called that back then. I got more action hanging out with him than any other time. At that time my step-father owned a busy gay gym/spa in Houston, and we'd go there to get a tan and lift weights. So, I was never threatened by gays and was comfortable with my sexuality. But my brother would constantly give our step-dad hell for owning a gay spa, or to me for hanging out with a gay friend, likely because he couldn't admit that he wanted to be hanging out at the spa too. One would think that knowing our mom was okay being married to a gay spa owner, and that I was okay having a gay friend, that maybe we'd accept him for who he was. But I think he wanted society's acceptance too.

I was also working in a hospital laboratory around the same time, when we started to hear about this "new" deadly virus passed between gays. That ended up being HIV and it was a scary unknown thing (still scary). I think that the emergence of HIV (and maybe some of the excess promiscuity of the late 70's) may have ended up leading to more prejudice and shunning of gays than if HIV had never come to be. This made it even harder for my brother to come out, but that was 30 years ago. Somehow you'd think that it would be easier now, but it's hard when you're singled out as being different and "against the norm".

While I was born and raised an orthodox jew, I later became a christian when I was 31 and became very conservative (like my mom and younger brother who also became jews for jesus). I still have a hard time re-defining marriage as anything but between a man and a woman because it has historically always been that way, but I have always been 100% in favor of civil unions with all the benefits of a marriage. But then I look at my brother and his significant other, or my cousin and her's, and it makes me feel guilty about the whole marriage thing. The only difference between a marriage and a civil union is what you call it, but maybe at that point it doesn't matter what you call it. If it makes them happy to call it a marriage, then I guess why not. But that's a whole 'nother shootin match we don't need to go into right now.

So, I wish all of you well in this short time we all have on this planet, and do it with peace in your hearts.

[HeadphoneAddict]

Now for the jokes - you guys can now all come to CanJam dressed like this next year:

(sorry, but I can't recall where I found this)

[naamanf]

Now for the jokes - you guys can now all come to CanJam dressed like this next year:

(sorry, but I can't recall where I found this)

Now I'm disturbed.

Tylll, I think we need a one with a bit more of a proper plie.

[episiarch]

^ Now that my eyes have been burned out, I'm going to need my headphone rig more than ever. Please make sure the next CJ is white-cane accessible.

[swt61]

Wait a minute.... I loaned my car so a queer could get cheeseburgers?????

Seriously Fitz, I'm proud to have met you and it's very cool you can do this. Those cheeseburgers tasted great at the time, but now they are even better. You're a hell of a guy.

Mike

Yes you did, and thankfully so, as the midnight meat run is a big part of gay life.

[Knuckledragger]

[jp11801]

Great thread, Steve thanks for having the courage to do this. My sister and best friend struggled with coming out in their early twenties. Sadly I did not get as much time to hang with you as I would have liked, hopefully you'll be at RMAF or maybe a TX travel team event.

[jvlgato]

I just got this email at my part time job (Veteran's Administration Hospital), things change slowly, but they can change ) :

Equal Employment Complaints Based on Sexual Orientation

VA Secretary Shinseki has issued an All-Employee memo entitled “Processing Equal Employment Complaints Based on Sexual Orientation.”

It outlines immediate changes for processing complaints of discrimination based on sexual orientation within the Department of Veterans Affairs. Previously, VA’s Office of Resolution Management processed complaints based on sexual orientation through the informal counseling stage only. Effective immediately, such complaints meeting appropriate requirements will be processed through formal investigation as outlined in Equal Employment Opportunity Commission (EEOC) regulation 29 C.F.R. 1614.

In his memo announcing the change, Secretary Shinseki states “It is my conviction that each employee has a moral and ethical obligation to eradicate discrimination in any form and foster a workplace that is free from discrimination.”

[manaox2]

My graduating university struggles to apply its own policies due to its ROTC department. Luckily, I believe they have done a good job there preventing open discrimination and protecting faculty and students. Several of my oldest friends that are in the military are homosexual and have plenty of horror stories, its embarrassing and scary to see how much the government promotes discrimination against the GLBT community. Glad to see some steps in the right direction.

[jvlgato]

My graduating university struggles to apply its own policies due to its ROTC department. Luckily, I believe they have done a good job there preventing open discrimination and protecting faculty and students. Several of my oldest friends that are in the military are homosexual and have plenty of horror stories, its embarrassing and scary to see how much the government promotes discrimination against the GLBT community.

Yeah, it's definitely still a problem, and I still hear stories. But I'm glad to see some of these changes occuring from official channels/leadership.

[spritzer]

I bit late to the party but yay for Fitz!!!!

[agile_one]

Birgir ... I just got the fitz flash as well, so join you in a hearty "well done" fitz. As someone else mentioned, your outing is likely much more difficult at your stage in life, and, as with Steve and Shelly, I am proud of you for being yourself, and proud of HC'ers for being the supportive environment we are. I so very much look forward to the next time we are all together, just as long as Tyll leaves the lingere at home.

[n_maher]

x3 on being late to the Fitz party, good for you and I'm glad you're feeling more comfortable in your own skin.

One Moderator note, not so much for here but over there. If any of you regardless of race, color, orientation or other factor feels like someone is acting in a discriminatory or otherwise oppressive or hurtful way and don't want to take them on directly please feel free to shoot me a message. This is an area that I have exactly zero tolerance for bullshit.

[Dusty Chalk]

Nate rules. (double-meaning intended)

[Tyll Hertsens]

just as long as Tyll leaves the lingere at home.

[grawk]

but bring other clothes

[Voltron]

but bring other clothes

Thank you for clarifying. I had the same frightening thought.

[Augsburger]

Please.......

Tyll has given new meaning to the term "moon shot"

[swt61]

x3 on being late to the Fitz party, good for you and I'm glad you're feeling more comfortable in your own skin.

One Moderator note, not so much for here but over there. If any of you regardless of race, color, orientation or other factor feels like someone is acting in a discriminatory or otherwise oppressive or hurtful way and don't want to take them on directly please feel free to shoot me a message. This is an area that I have exactly zero tolerance for bullshit.

Thanks Nate, I appreciate that. And if that fails to work, I have nail guns.

[kevin gilmore]

I showed tyll's photo above to one of the women i work with.

All she said was poor choice of shoes.

[Torpedo]

Steve, Shelly and Ryan, thanks for the confidence you show on us by sharing this. I really don't care, I have the same interest in reading your posts as before, and I'm still willing to make a CanJam and meeting you in person some day. Just keep being nice human beings

[screaming oranges]

This thread is too long.

For those who want to know what happened, here's a summary:

[Dreadhead]

ROFL

[Duggeh]

Fucking awesome cartoon. It's rare to say LOL and actually LOL. But I LOLed.