I think the people in the office will be glad to know that I even have one, much less one worth stealing.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

So apparently she can't because her son is coming home for Thanksgiving, and oh, by the way, didn't you know that I was married?  30 years now.

so sorry, Dusty.

No, I'm laughing.  I can't believe I got her so wrong.  Not entirely sure she's telling the truth, but I'm a feminist, so will take her at her word.  And apologize for anything inappropriate I may have said in the past.  I'm mentally replaying everything I've ever said, and there are quite a few cringe-worthy moments.  What she must think of me, that I would say those things to a married woman.

Yow!!  That sounds pretty weird, though, like she couldn't have answered any of this earlier???  Or maybe she was just having a "deer in the headlights" moment when you asked.

And don't worry about things you've said to a likely-married woman....have said some oddball things myself (on purpose).....

EDIT: just to keep it light....invite her still for AFTER the meal 

Edited November 9, 20187 yr by skullguise

Just now, skullguise said:

... maybe she was just having a "deer in the headlights" moment when you asked...

This (I suspect).  It was kinda rushed, she had been busy all week, and I was walking her from her desk to the elevator...

Spent hours on hold cancelling and requesting refunds for airfare, hotel and competition fees due to Lance withdrawing from the Kansas North American Cup this weekend.

It could be worse so no complaints other than light first world problem bitching. Luckily so far we still have a house.

hangin' out with Michael Fremer...Frems, as I call him...in Indianapolis...taking crappy pics...listening to great recordings...

She doesn’t wear a ring, so I am absolved for not knowing.  Still wish I knew a year ago, when my crush was barely forming, would’ve saved myself a lot of consternation.

I think you should have asked her wearing your Bane mask....she might have skipped her family thing....

Bummer overall.....indeed it would have saved some consternation and effort.  But I'm sure she still looks good in purple....

Then again, in the course of the year you might have asked her a question or two about her life to learn this fundamental fact...

48 minutes ago, Voltron said:

Then again, in the course of the year you might have asked her a question or two about her life to learn this fundamental fact...

No kidding. Maybe it’s just me but step one has always been to determining if they were in a committed relationship and if/how many kids they had. 

Last night I fell down my friend’s front steps (Amazon delivered a heavy box sometime after 9, right in front of the darkly lit door), leaving me going down about 10 concrete steps, head first. Two cracked ribs, concussion, contusions everywhere, and somehow I seem to have a softball under my lower left back, surrounded by deep purple lines. Of course the hospital I was taken to was outside of my zone. All the police were very nice, and I got a hug from my special case officer after whatever pain meds I was given via IV kicked in. I don’t know what they were, but I slept all Monday. 

I guess this all counts as having been given a break, really. 

I’m guessing with the right lawyer you could get 3-4  billion out of that Bezos clown. 

Edited November 14, 20187 yr by naamanf

4 hours ago, Voltron said:

Then again, in the course of the year you might have asked her a question or two about her life to learn this fundamental fact...

 

4 hours ago, naamanf said:

No kidding. Maybe it’s just me but step one has always been to determining if they were in a committed relationship and if/how many kids they had. 

Absolutely.  I definitely did tread too carefully.   That said, every time I did ask a probing question (e.g. "how was your weekend, did you do anything fun or exciting?" -- by the way, that's almost a verbatim reflection of a question that she asked me once), I always got a non-answer, like, "oh, it was just a normal weekend for me".  And she never used plurals -- we/us/our/etc. -- always the singular -- I/me/my/etc. So I was paying attention, I just think she doesn't talk about her husband.

I also feel that because this is the workplace, I do need to tread more carefully.  I ruined the workplace environment for a woman once about 20 years ago, just by letting her know that I was interested in dating her (at the end of the -- in my mind -- first date).  I had the decency to feel bad about it, but it makes no difference to the woman, it was still ruined for her.  I promised myself then, that I'd never do that to anyone else ever again.  They spend just as much time in the workplace as we do, 8 hours a day...half their waking life during the week, but because of the lopsided man/woman dynamic, there's no equivalency.  They deserve to feel safe, comfortable, and free to be themselves.  I have become a hardline feminist in that regard.

That said, I was correct that she wasn't interested, so I did get that right, it just wasn't for the reasons I thought.

She was fairly pleasant with me today, so she's being more of an adult than the woman of 20 years ago.  She's still one of my favourite people, I've never met anyone else like her, and I am glad that I will still be able to interact with her, if a lot less so.

If you allow me to comment, I think you have done well. Having complicated situations at work is very hard

I was dating for a few years with one of my colleague and when we broke (things in life) the situation for some years was quite tense. We are currently working together and the situation has normalized but it is true that for a while we both had a really bad time.

Edited November 14, 20187 yr by jose

When I was in my early 30's I came within a hairs breadth of having an affair with a work colleague. And I mean absolutely a hair's breadth. Both of us married. Stepped back from the brink, and if we/I hadn't, life would have worked out really differently.

We're still in occasional contact, and meet up when we are in each other's cities for a pub lunch, so we ended up as friends.

But, Dusty - you have nothing to beat yourself up about here. With all the signals you were undoubtedly subconsciously radiating, she had every opportunity to mention her marital status. That she said she'd check her diary indicates she was certainly interested in the prospect of joining you for Thanksgiving. And then decided against it, and only then mentioned why.

I set up my work rig today, as I felt IEMs and phone weren't quite enough.

Denon DP-300F Turntable Lab edition (cork mat and Ortofon 2M-Red upgrade) -> Matrix Audio M-Stage HPA-2 Classic -> HF1-2s

That's it,.. 

You're fired! 

(Grado free zone)

7 minutes ago, ironbut said:

That's it,.. 

You're fired! 

(Grado free zone)

Heh, well, if my boss gives me a big raise, maybe I'll get some acceptable cans. Heh, would be fun to have some closed cans, being an open office and all.

Edited November 15, 20187 yr by MexicanDragon

Well, at least you have plenty of material for folding paper airplanes.

Looks flammable. Wouldn't fly in Cali.

Edited November 15, 20187 yr by Hopstretch

2 minutes ago, swt61 said:

Well, at least you have plenty of material for folding paper airplanes.

Heh, so I ordered a shelf and manger was like "uhmmm, wtf?" and I'm like "there's a plan" and he's like "well, looks like you volunteered to clean out the corner box collection." That collection included a bunch of paper; put it on the bottom shelf so it can help weight down the shelf for stability. Makes sense, no?

So, Dropped Joanne’s niece, Sophie, off in Corte Madera to enjoy some retail therapy while Joanne and I were at work.

Joanne had pointed out
https://www.marinij.com/2018/11/19/marin-kitchen-caters-to-canine-connoisseurs/

So Sophie visited and told us all about her trip

The fresh vegetables on ice, the open kitchen, how the “consultant nutritionist” “individually tailored” her requirement for some doggy treats for a friends Husky back in Cayman


She went with the venison. And sticker shock (maybe the lack of posted prices should be a clue)

I would say “only in Marin”, but they have branches elsewhere.

https://www.justfoodfordogs.com/

Went kayaking at Silver Springs today. Great day for wildlife viewing. Tons of water birds, basking turtles and alligators and most importantly our first manatees. Now relaxing with a wee dram (see imbibing thread for more details).